


One Last Time

by Nataeshumu



Series: And If I Cry? [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Break Up, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Fluff and Angst, Hong Jisoo | Joshua-centric, Idol Seokmin, M/M, One Shot, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29167341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nataeshumu/pseuds/Nataeshumu
Summary: Joshua realises things have changed and let go's after one last time.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK
Series: And If I Cry? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167761
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	One Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is angst, don't be fooled.

Joshua and Seokmin were happy together. In fact, Joshua liked to think they were meant to be,  _ soulmates _ . 

They were highschool sweethearts, first loves. Wonwoo likes to think of himself as  _ Seoksoo’s  _ (Joshua and Seokmin’s “ship” name created by the ever great Seungkwan) godfather. The two had properly met when Wonwoo had mixed up his schedule and ended up scheduling a meet-up with them on the same date and time.  _ Properly met _ because even though Joshua attended a different school from Wonwoo and Seokmin, he definitely knows Lee Seokmin, the beautiful boy who sings every Saturday night at the restaurant near his house. Seokmin’s voice was one of the many,  _ many, _ reason’s Joshua loves him. And when Seokmin had told him, blush on face and fidgeting fingers, that he wanted to pursue his singing career on their early college years, Joshua hugged him so tight that he wheezed. Being a medical student was hard and tiring, but he promised himself to never miss Seokmin’s concerts. Even when his boyfriend looked at him with worried eyes, Joshua passed through his fatigue to give him the brightest smile and only talk with praises. “You’re my confidence.” Seokmin had once told him, on a lazy sunday as they cuddled on the couch. His heart fluttered so hard and apparently it was very apparent on his face— if Seokmin’s non-stop teasing about his  _ tomato face _ was anything to go by. 

As Seokmin bravely took on the path of an idol, Joshua continued with his studies. By the time he had graduated, he didn’t rush to find a job right away. It also wasn’t necessary since he was lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon. He chose to, instead, focus on the love of his life. Seokmin of course. As promised, he was there for every concert. Knowing how sensitive people are with idols dating, he disguised as a staff. He helped out here and there, monitored things and helped other staffs out. But mostly, he was there as Seokmin’s support. His boyfriend. He can’t even begin to explain the flowers that blooms in him everytime Seokmin rushes towards him after a concert. Sure, he was panting and covered in a sheen of sweat, but he was still so  _ gorgeous _ . 

_ God, he loves him so much. _

Seokmin’s fame grew with every exposure. This fame only increased once Seokmin met Soonyoung— mostly known as Hoshi in the entertainment industry. The two hit of really well, Joshua laughed alongside Seokmin whenever he would retell a funny occurrence they had in practice. Right, the collab between Dokyeom(Seokmin) and Hoshi was a collab that forever changed their industry. Not to mention that their collab song was produced by Woozi, an incredibly talented producer. 

Going five years into their relationship, Joshua had decided to take a risky step. He was going to propose.

Risky not because of their love— no no, they both love each other very much— but because of Seokmin’s career. Joshua knows how much Seokmin loves singing, he glowed on stage. He didn’t want to ruin that. But at the same time, he loves Seokmin so much. 

At the end, love always wins. 

It was around 10pm when Seokmin arrived. He smiled and went straight into Joshua’s arms like it was an instinct. In return, Joshua placed a kiss on his forehead. There was an absent weight in his back pocket, the ring. 

“Hey min?” he mumbled, heartbeat racing. Seokmin made a noise, urging him to continue.

Joshua took a deep breath, senses filled with a comforting scent only Seokmin holds. He ignores the deafening noise of his nervous self and pulls away from Seokmin. With a hand on his back pocket, he begins to lean down. 

“Oh-” He hears from Seokmin as he leans down.

  
  


_ Here it goes.  _ “Seok-”

  
  


“Soonie,” 

“ _ Soonie? _ ” Joshua repeats, raising his head and standing straight. His boyfriend nodded, an excited look on his face. “He won an award today and wanted to celebrate. It's a close-friends only party though. He told me he was gonna confess to Jihoon today. Gotta be there for support.” 

“Then who’ll be my support if you’re not here.” Joshua whined jokingly. Seokmin giggled, kissing his temple. “Silly you.” 

He moved away from Joshua to gather his things. “You can come if you want.” He thought about it, hand not letting go of the ring in his pocket. Finally, he shook his head. “I’m okay. Enjoy,” He smiled, Seokmin did the same in return.

Then he was gone.

_ I’ll try again nextime _ .

Nextime came in the form of their five year anniversary, a very rare Sunday morning, where Seokmin was free of schedule. After breakfast, Seokmin had dragged him to the couch of their shared apartment to cuddle. 

With both of them tangled into each other, Joshua brought up a topic. “Min, do you want to marry me?” He flushed as soon as he said it, wondering where the sudden bravery came from. 

Seokmin had looked at him, incredulous. “Marriage?” He laughed. “What’s with the rush?” He buried his face back onto Joshua’s neck. “We’ve only been together for four years. Maybe wait until our fifth anniversary, love.” Joshua’s heart dropped. 

Because today was their fifth anniversary. 

  
  


That’s normal. People forget.

  
  


_ People forget. _

“It’s almost ten, I have to go.” His boyfriend stood up. Joshua was a stone in place, desperately trying to tell himself he was fine. That this was normal. That nothing has changed. 

“You said you were free today..” He mumbled, wishing that Seokmin had heard his plea.  _ Please stay _ . 

“I’m free of idol stuff. So is Soonie, there’s this new park we wanted to visit. I’ll see you when I get back.” Seokmin smiled, that same angelic smile. He leaned towards Joshua and kissed him like it was a habit. Was that all he was? A habit he’s too afraid to break? 

Still, he hummed and kissed back. Saying “I love you.” as his farewell. Seokmin only smiled. 

Then he was gone.

_ Will there be a nextime?  _

Maybe Joshua was too afraid to admit it before, but something has changed. Over the course of five years, he and Seokmin had their fair share of arguments. Not that much, but he’s glad they were able to resolve it. Honestly, their relationship felt perfect even when they had their arguments. When they would always go back to each other’s arms in the end. Now, now there’s.. nothing. No more friday dates, no more cuddle nights, no more lazy stolen kisses, no more  _ “I love you too’s”.  _

The time came where it was only Joshua giving. And he loves Seokmin  _ so _ much that he thought that was normal. Loves him so much that he was willing to continue like that. 

But it wasn’t right, he knew that. 

He has to let go. He has to set him free. 

So the night after one of Seokmin’s concert, he decided to break hearts. 

He waited for his boyfriend in the empty waiting room. His heart fluttered once he heard his laugh from outside. Heavens knew he would give anything for his sun to never loose his shine. Even if he had to let him go. 

“Shuaaa.” Seokmin had said sweetly once he entered the room, it was only the two of them. Joshua didn’t resist the urge to hug him, he wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face in the crook of his neck. 

He closed his eyes and looked back to all their memories. Asking himself what made him fall in love with his sun. Love didn’t need a reason. You love because you love. Joshua loves Seokmin because he was just that, Lee Seokmin. His sun. 

“I love you.” Joshua clung onto hope. Seokmin just hummed.

Testing the waters, Joshua pulled away and looked straight into Seokmin’s eyes. Such pretty eyes he will never get tired of looking at. “Say you love me too.” He whispered as the first tear escaped. 

He saw the conflict in his eyes. The sorrow as he realized what’s about to happen. “Shua- of course I love you.” But Joshua felt numb, another tear escaped. It was empty, he knew Seokmin doesn’t feel the same. Not anymore. 

“One last time.” Joshua leaned in, placed his lips on Seokmin’s.  _ One last time. _

He poured everything in. Every emotion pent up inside him.  _ One last time _ . 

Seokmin was crying. He sobbed into their kiss, he kissed back to receive and return Joshua’s emotions.  _ One last time _ . 

Then it’s over. 

Joshua smiled through his tears and reached in his pocket. “I’ll always love you.  _ Always. _ ” He says as he hands Seokmin a velvet box. 

_ It’s over. _

He can’t keep a heart that’s no longer his. He’s lost a battle he never thought he would fight.

But he knows, no matter what. Seokmin will always be his sun. Like how he will always be the earth, circling—  _ watching  _ him shine light to others. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hhhhhh sorry for any typos or grammar errors
> 
> I hope you enjoyed that. Seoksoo are my main OTP so expect fluff in the future and I'm also writing this instead of reviewing for my exams sooo... 
> 
> Leave a kudos if you liked it !


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